yox.. Today's New Year's Eve... so sian leh.. Stuck at home... Stupid de lo.. So kns... =x oops. Sorrie for usage for rubbish words. Zzz... ARrrrr... I wanna go countdownx... All my cuz go out oso.... Why cant i? So zzzz de leh... Sianz sian sianzzzz.. I wanna go out.. Get out of this boring place..!!!!!!!! And have fun.. This would be the last time i will be having real fun.. before the start of school... i.e. the start of stressss.. EEEEkk...

Thursday, December 30

yoxyox..~ wah.. suddenly realise u tag so much things... hahahaz (pearl) hMx..~ wad i want to sae ar... ? zzz.. Hmx..~ Dunno wad to sae... Actually i have alot of things to say... Haiz..~


all right.. let's start from what i did today.. Yupx yupx.. Went Jurong Swimming Complex todayx..~ quite fun..... haiz... dunno wad to write now... wo de xin hao luan.... the whole holiday... it kinda sucks..... haiz..~


hm... updated my wishlist... somehow it still remains the same... it will.... always be...


missing y.o.u. and barn~ *winks*

Saturday, December 25

hey heyx..~ What's the date todayx??? It's 25th Decemeber of 2004... Hahaz.. Abit wasted that this year nv go Orchard countdown... Sad.. But then.. It's fun at 3rd Aunt house too... We talked alot.. Got to know more about my cuz... Hahaz.. And my uncles were all drunk... Yucks.. hahaz.. All they puked were just red wine and more red wine.. Wahaha... Really fun lo... Then super late sleep again.. Or should i say.. i slept super early? lolx.. about 5 or 6 am then really sleep.. Dengx..~ Thou... This year... All along.. I tot i could celebrate with someone.. But.. Never mind lo. Maybe it's just meant to be.

Thursday, December 23

Hihix..~ Oh.. Now.. should be xmas Eve le..~ wahahahaz... Tomorrow Christmas le.. Must wish everyone a early...



Merry Merry Christmas...~ And a Happy Happy New Year!!
Hm... Today went to watch Kung Fu... the stephen chow that show.. Wahahaz.. It's really nice lo.. Thou it's super lame... hahahaz..~ the ru lai shen zhang... still got wad.. yang guo & xiao long nu... -_-'' ... Hm... a lonely xmas thisy year... all along i have a wish lo.. To spend this xmas with him.. But now... This wish seems... far...~ Hmx..
Oh ya.. Went innova today with esther, xinyi and kaiyun.. then kena chased out by the Principal somemore.. So tiaoz. -.-'' haiz..... go liao.... Bye..~

Tuesday, December 21

haiz.. Maybe it's part and parcel of growing up.. I just feel... kinda... shitty right now... in this situation... But i cant really blame anyone... Sianz... So peeps.. I doubt u will see me getting a handphone in near future... I wont get it lo... =\ so sianz.. being without hp.. somehow really sucks... =\ sorrie for wadever offensive words i use... jus.. feel like using them... =x ... hm... indeed... aiya.. just hate it lo.... like so chee cham like that... =\ dun wan get dun wan get for me lo.. sae so much for wad... expect me to call back home.. so ma fan.... I make sure i wouldnt do that when i get into JC life... Label me under missing in action will do..~ I cant be bothered...


Argh.... Why am i in such shitty situation... ? Being torn into many pieces... I doubt anyone cares to bother.... Haiz... yup yup.. It's me grumbling away...... Super bad mood.. But i just have to fake my way thru... Faking my expressions to be happy... delighted... But in fact, Im not. Im not happy. To be frank, i maybe need some kind of ... erm.. "xin li zhi liao" I just hate the way it is... i just want to get back to my old days.... The happy days... I hate... hate being graduated.... I rather i'll be stuck forever during sec4... forever waiting for prelims to come...


Hmx.. if u happen to be reading this... I dont blame u for ur decision... remember wad i said? I would always support wadever decision u make.. regardless of wad it is. A promise made aint meant to be broken. I didnt break my promise.


When would the leaves stop falling... ?
When would it be the day that they would cover up my wound?
When... ? When... ?

Saturday, December 18

what's the feeling of heartbreak.... noone can define it... only you yourself can feel it...

i predicted this day would happen.. I hate this... Why... My prediction always come true... Why... Why on these matters........ ? Haiz...

Friday, December 17

Alamak.. I confused now leh.. I kena posted to Nanyang JC .... Should i appeal??? Argh.. Confused... Should i appeal out? To IJC... Which is super near... ? Aiyox..... =\... Haven call Nyjc yet to find out whether im in for LEP anot.. Zzzzz....

Thursday, December 16

yoz peeps.. Back in spore now...

It was a nice trip back to Ipoh this time.. But the last day wasnt that good.. Received some.. bad news... Or wad should i sae... Just some things lo... Dont wish to mention them... Thus.. Went to see stars.. See awhile... Sky like not still dark enough.. Then went back inside pei ah weng lo... Then he la.. dun wan pei wo see stars... lolx~ Then went back to play ICQ again... Since it was my last day there.. he sae pei wo till tong xiao ma... But dint really stay up till morning la... 3am we go slp le...~ The nightsky there was goood.... Super alot of stars to see..... Super dark when it was about 2am + ... The stars seem to be telling me something... To look ahead... Thou the sky is dark.. There are still stars to light it up.... Shining and shimmering in the nightsky..


hm... Oh... I cut my hair real short u noe?? Shorter than the previous time... hahaz..~ But that doesnt help me to "re-live" hMx..~ lalalaz...~ tomorrow posting out..~ lolx.. wondering where to go... HAIZ!! if im in Nyjc.. should i appeal to AJC or IJC?? Should i stay put or wad??!??! hELP!!

Tuesday, December 14

hihix.. hohox.. Crapz.. Went to watch The Incredibles.. Hahaz.. Indeed.. It was a really humorous show... Damn funny... The disappearing act.... And whatsoever... But.. the bad thing was... I dint even know that im going for a movie.. And im freezing all the way thru.. Shivering. Pengx. Somemore i wear sleeveless sia... Crapz. =\ luckily the movie wasnt that long.. to kill me. hahaz.


oh ya.. Im going back tomorrow's morning... Reaching Spore in... wad time... Erm..6pm? lolx. Hm... My cuz now frying the "xia ping" ... So i zuo bo... Play com lo... kekex.. Hmx... Yesterday kena hit by my cuz... But .. both of us got our revenge i think... But... lolx.. he rang wo la... oh ya... something that i can confirm that is... Msian guys are really much more gentleman than those in Sg... (no offence to guys who are reading k? winks! ) lolx..~ kekex... crapping away with gab n pearl in msn.. dengx... only they two online sia... hahaz...


hm... last nite went pasar malam... hm... dunno wad we did.. went home... that ah weng go use icq... so funny... cos he everytime chat online with those xiaomeimei.. then so funny manz... then his bro... my... "piao sao" and yiyun.. all surrounding him... then the girl named pig aka xiaoying ... sae wad... next time cook for me eat okie? i dun wanna be huang lian po... wad... u promise to qu wo next time de... hahahaz.. then so tiaoz... his bro sae aiyox..... pian xmm... aiyox... later i go send her sms... lolx.. then ah weng go cover up the tel no... u noe icq ... got hp no. de... hahaz... aiya.. damn funny jiu dui le... hm...


alrite.. i better shut up.. doubt u peeps noe wad crap i toking.. hahaz.. byex.. seeya guys.. tml!! muackies!

Sunday, December 12

yupxyupx... Hi peeps.. Im still in Msia. =D Quite fun today.. Hahaz.. Dengx. Cos something really funny happened.. Hm.. Cant really explain wad happen.. just that... We just get off the car.. And walked off... At the traffic light there lo... Cos like my cuz and her frenz... "dou zui" ma.. deng one... hahaz.. then really walked off le lo... then they waited over at the other side of the road.. Deng.. hahaz.. " da xiao jie... dun be angry la... joking only wad... u dun dai ur biao mei yi qi dian1 leh.. " (not in eng of cos.. ) deng.. doubt u understand wad i toking.. hahaz... wadever... got my first shirt here during shopping.. okie la... 24rm... then.. oh ya... went E-box yesterday with her frenz... ( a karaoke in Msia lo.. just that it caters to 18 and above... so im the only one underage... But i just get in lo.. Who cares? All of them are older than me! lolx. ) wadever.. Then aiyox.. So funny lo.. They sing the SHIN " Tian gao di hou.. " Tiaoz.. Got dance one somemore leh... hahahz.. Cos their camp got sing ma... hahaz.. Will always remember that.... Hmx... Wad else...


Then... nth much lo... Hm.. everyday eat eat eat... So fat now.. SOB SOB!!! SOMEonE call me "qian fei" can anot.... -_-'' hahahaz... heck la... JC start i go on diet le... gtg liaoz... Enjoys~ !


Bye peeps... ! *winks*

Friday, December 10

hihi... im in msia now.... typing this blog in grandma's ipoh home... first time sia...


oh ya... went genting yesterday... just reached back a few hours ago... Wow... First time i experienced the damn cool effect in Genting Highlands... It was really shiok!! Hahaz.. The weather was really cold... 16 degrees celcius only leh!! Talk hor... got... the "smoke" effect... Wahahahaz..... but then i super cold... Cos i dint bring a proper jacket... And i super tiao... go play the ... Sky Rocket again.. This time... Really terrifying... Dunno why.. But it's my second time sitting it... DEngx.. My cuz and I all went down legs shivering.... -_-'' dengx... my heart nearly jumped out sia... then wad did we do... ? oh ya... Since it was raining... My all day outdoor themepark ticket was wasted!!! one ride only leh!!! =\ waste my money sia!!!!!!! then went to sit the 2pidest cable car i ever seee.... so tiaoz one... then the hotel like so shity de.... like so "ghostly" de... cos got too many eerie things happened.. hahaz... alrite.. enough of these....


hMx... alright... logging off... bye peeps. happy holidays everyone! =P

Sunday, December 5

yupx.. im back online again.. been out for these few days.. continuously .... sianz...

kinda troubled... since the end of o lvls till now... i still cant find a solution to it.... been chasing after the show... say yes enterprise.... it had somehow given me some " qi shi " .. kakaz... indeed.. why not be happy when i could be ..... ? but burden myself with all these crapz... ? im not being hack care... i just... cant do anything about it..... But. Im just confused, sad, be it jealous or not ...

i need to get a life. indeed. the theme of pearl's blog. lease a new life... adapt a new way of life... a new world...

nothing much more for me to say ... cant bring myself to say what's deep down inside me... it would just swallow me up... into a world of darkness .. which ... i don't wish to sink into it again... I hate being in tears without apparent use.... what's more left for me to say .... ? i just wish to get back to the same old way of my life... But... i know i just have that anymore.... never ever .....

unless... a miracle would happen this xmas of 2004. i thought this year would be different.. but .. ya .. just different in a matter that i would be feeling empty....


signing off... serene.
p.s. why wouldnt you just grant me that little wish of mine... ? escaping is of no use... haiz... nitex.